So I had one of those panic episodes today. Where I become engrossed in worry and pessimistic thoughts of the future. what am I gonna do? i need a job? no offence God, but I can't earn money worshipping! not in Jamaica at least. what is it that you want me to do? why can't the path i'm walking on be any clearer? Lord, I know the path to follow you will be narrow and dark, but where is the light you promised to show me the way? big sigh

I think I am walking through a very very dark corner in my life. Dark because of bitter circumstances, dark because of uncertainty in purpose and future. But I believe Darkness is necessary. It is in darkness that God created, in Darkness God's light is that much brighter, in darkness God teaches, God roots down and builds up. In this darkness I have found God to be more real to me than in any lighter and easier times in my life. And having been in darkness, I will appreciate the light that much more. Forgive me Lord for ever doubting you, for ever being anxious or worrying pointlessly.

'I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear; for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God, I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.' Isa. 41: 3