The Way Up is Down!!

I was reading back in my journal the other day, the summer of 2003. I was writing on how much I wanted to be close to God that (and i quote) 'If i have to go to the depths of darkness to experience more of you then let it be'

What???!!!!!!!!! What was I thinking by writing that??? Surely I must have been under the anointing of God, somewhat unaware of how serious those words are; or probably I was just being melodramatic and thought the words sounded good on paper. In the wonderful life I had little did i know that i would experience darkness, but indeed I have. God has used this darkness, these bitter experiences to humble me. Through them I have experienced His grace and mercy in a new light. I know God now more than I did when life was good. I have his wounds, his scars, I somewhat now understand the burden of the cross he bore. I realize my nothingness, my own worthlessness. And as Isaiah said in Isaiah 64:6 '...our righteousness are as filthy rags...'. May I be made weak so that God makes me perfect in His own strength, may I be humble so that He may exalt me, may I be made lower so that He can be higher.

The truth is, the darkness only serves to make the light that much brighter. May I find my voice in the glorious light of His presence even in the midst of darkness.

Shalom

Worship: A Call for the Passionate

I have always been fascinated with the story of Jacob and Esau. The word of God says in Malachi 1:2-3 '...was not Esau Jacob's brother? Yet the Lord said I have loved Jacob, but hated Esau....' Why do you think that was? Jacob was shrewd and unscrupulous, he deceived his father for the blessing, he obtained the birthrite from Esau selling him out for a bowl of soup, he obviously never got the worse of a bargain as even in the case of Laban (his father in law) he gained much fortune at Laban's expense (Gen 30: 36-43). Esau on the other hand was a good guy, very manly and strong. He was the favourite of his father, and never did anything bad. Yet God loved Jacob and hated Esau. Why? The answer is this; Jacob appreciated what God had to give while Esau was indifferent. To be indifferent is to show no care or concern in attitude or action, to have a lack of interest and in Hebrews 12:15-17 such an attitude is likened to the sexually immoral '...See to it that no one is sexually immoral, or is godless like Esau, who for a single meal sold his inheritance rights as the oldest son. Afterward, as you know, when he wanted to inherit this blessing, he was rejected. He could bring about no change of mind, though he sought the blessing with tears.'

Jacob wrestled with an Angel of God. Genesis 22:24-28 '...I will not let you go unless you bless me...' Jacob was unreserved and determined in seeking God, and getting from God His best. He loved God wholeheartedly and passionately, to the point of being shrewd enough in getting something that was never intended for him.

During the past week, God has been speaking to me ever so clearly about being lukewarm as Christians. To be neither hot nor cold, but to be a little bit of both. To be indifferent, much like Esau whom God hated! It's scary to think that a good majority of Christians in today’s society have become lukewarm and indifferent, and I am guilty in being one of such. Lukewarmness to me speaks of a Christian who easily compromises his values to accommodate the world’s values, who gives God just enough to still be good, just enough to make it into heaven. Someone who is comfortable and complacent in just being good enough. But God says in Rev 3: 16 'So, because you are lukewarm-neither hot nor cold-I am about to spit you out of my mouth.' Wow!!!! This doesn't sound like a good thing to me, what do you think? I know I don't really want God to spit me out of His mouth.

The thing is, there is so much more that God wants to give us, so much that he has in store for us, that if we only give him our all, and seek after him, just like Jacob- passionately and without giving up even if if it means walking with a permanent limp after. Why do we choose to settle for little when we could have it all – the birthrite, the blessing, the descendants and the nations? Christians!!! Settle for nothing less than God's best! He has called us into a relationship with him where we cannot be lukewarm, He himself says that we need to be hot, to be passionate, to be fervent; for anything less He is disgusted with!! To the point where He will spit us out of His mouth. I can then make this link, that to truly worship God requires this total surrender of ourselves.

The web defines worship as 'to regard with ardent or adoring esteem or devotion, to have or express feelings of profound adoration'. To worship surpasses giving praise or thanksgiving. It is not the singing of hymns or spiritual songs. It is the attitude we have when we come before Him. Worship is when we past the gates of thanksgiving and the courts of praise and enter in the most holy place. In the Old Covenant, only the priest entered into the Most Holy Place. But now, through the death of our Lord Jesus Christ, the curtain has been torn and we can enter into the manifest presence of God in an attitude of worship. What is this attitude of worship? It is to come humbly, to bend your head low, or to bend upper body forward and stretch out our hands, it is to prostrate oneself before a Holy God. It is a heart bowed low in the presence of God, a heart totally surrendered, uninhibited and on fire for the King of Kings.

It takes this sort of relationship with God for us to worship. It saddens my heart to see our young people during sessions of praise and worship, who can only clap their hands and sing, but who hesitate to lift their hands, bow down and worship their King. Where is the relationship? As a worship leader my heart cries out to God for His people to know him intimately, more than you know your mom, dad, or husband, the intimacy he calls us to surpasses that. I think if Esau realized the blessing he had and the God he served, a bowl of soup would not be that appealing even in extreme hunger. My encouragement is for you to pursue more of God for He promises in Proverbs 8:17 'I love them that love me; and those that seek me early shall find me.' If you don't have that passion burning in your heart and that love relationship, I don't think you have truly found all of Him, for all of Him will leave you prostrate in worship before the living God.