The Way Up is Down!!

I was reading back in my journal the other day, the summer of 2003. I was writing on how much I wanted to be close to God that (and i quote) 'If i have to go to the depths of darkness to experience more of you then let it be'

What???!!!!!!!!! What was I thinking by writing that??? Surely I must have been under the anointing of God, somewhat unaware of how serious those words are; or probably I was just being melodramatic and thought the words sounded good on paper. In the wonderful life I had little did i know that i would experience darkness, but indeed I have. God has used this darkness, these bitter experiences to humble me. Through them I have experienced His grace and mercy in a new light. I know God now more than I did when life was good. I have his wounds, his scars, I somewhat now understand the burden of the cross he bore. I realize my nothingness, my own worthlessness. And as Isaiah said in Isaiah 64:6 '...our righteousness are as filthy rags...'. May I be made weak so that God makes me perfect in His own strength, may I be humble so that He may exalt me, may I be made lower so that He can be higher.

The truth is, the darkness only serves to make the light that much brighter. May I find my voice in the glorious light of His presence even in the midst of darkness.

Shalom